How to Change Other People

Submitted by on Thursday, October 10, 20132 Comments

We Need to Change Other People Sometimes

Sometimes people we love are not as whole, good, evolved, or as enlightened as we know they can be. They might have opinions, thoughts, beliefs, or feelings we don’t want them to have. Abracadabra! They might do things we don’t want them to do or they may do things we know will hurt them. Their behaviors may be unacceptable to us or socially unacceptable for others.

“See people for who they could be instead of who they really are.”

To begin attempting to change other people we need to first acknowledge we know better. We have to set aside any humility we may have accidentally acquired in life or recovery and we have to adopt ego for this job. Like I said, sometimes we need to change other people and this means we’re going to have to pull out our pedestal of moral and intellectual certitude and really get cracking. So let’s get cracking…

Satire: How to Change Other People

How to Change Other People

We might need to teach them some valuable lessons for their greater good because we want them to have a happy life. We might have to engage in tough love. Because we wish the best for our spouse, partner or child, the ends are more important than the means and if that means we might have to engage in a little emotional manipulation or emotional blackmail, we may not like it but who else is going to care enough to do this? They need our help in becoming better people. Here are some suggested phrases to yell at share with the one who needs to change:

  • You are an embarrassment.
  • You are wrong.
  • You shouldn’t be so sensitive.
  • Get over it.
  • People would like you if you just ______.
  • You need to change your thinking.

The more drama you can bring to the situation, the better! And if you can embarrass or shame them through humiliation with other family and friends present or on social media networks then this is especially effective! Surely their shame and humiliation will evoke the positive change they need to employ for you to be happy and ultimately, for them to be better people.

How to Change an Alcoholic or Alcohol Addict

Changing an alcoholic is no small task!

You’re dealing with a chemical that is enabling a really good feeling in the person you think is an alcoholic. Now despite any negative repercussions with the ‘alcoholic’ the ‘alcoholic’ has an odd mind; They are addicted to the good feelings caused by the alcohol. So in this case, fighting fire with fire is definitely the best method. While the alcohol is allowing the person a sense of ease and comfort, you make sure to cause a sense of uneasiness and discomfort. Day after day, bring misery upon the alcoholic or alcohol addict. Make sure to shame, blame, label him an alcoholic and introduce the reality of his failures.

If you do not tell him the truth, who will? You, after all, are only fighting a chemical interaction with his body chemistry. It is no match for you! In this way, you will teach the alcoholic what reality is and will surely wake him up from his alcoholic stupor of ease and comfort. You can do this! Here are some suggested phrases to yell at share with the one who is drinking too much:

  • I should have never moved in with you.
  • You are worthless.
  • You will never change.
  • I should have listened to my mother.
  • You will never amount to anything.
  • Your co-workers think you’re stupid.
  • Everyone thinks you’re pathetic.

Now again, the more drama you can bring into this, the better! The above phrases are particularly effective when the alcoholic – or the one you think is an alcoholic – is in public and drunk. Surely they will see the light on the off chance they can remember!

How to Change a Highly Sensitive Person

You know those highly sensitive people who take everything so personally. They might be okay otherwise, except for the fact they’re just so sensitive and internal with stuff or complaining and bemoaning all this stuff they FEEL all the time. How depressing!

All they need to do is develop a thicker skin, ignore the bad shit, ignore bullies, and just get motivated by emotional pain instead of letting it conquer them. They need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps cause everybody knows that “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you.”

  • Ignore them.
  • What is wrong with you?
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • Get over it.

The Highly Sensitive People who seem too overly sensitive to physical stimulation? You know they’re just looking for a reason to shut down and what they really need to learn is to quit over identifying and making stuff up. YOU know there is no such nonsense as being affected by electronics or too many people and “electrical fields” and their main problem is that they have been coddled their whole life.

  • You’re going to sleep again? You’re lazy.
  • People think you’re a snob.
  • People think you’re weird.
  • You’re anti-social.
  • You think you’re better than everybody.

The Highly Sensitive Person who attracts odd or paranormal phenomenon or who believes that the metaphysical world is real? You know it’s just their overactive imagination or mental exhaustion. There is no such thing as “seeing energy” or “viewing auras” or “psychic” whatever because if there were you would know. Keep them invalidated by pointing out that because you do not believe or have experience with what they have experienced, that it couldn’t be true.

  1. Accuse them of mental illness or question their stability. (Throw terms like psychosis and crazy around.)
  2. Point out it’s their overactive imagination. (Treat them like they’re a child with an invisible friend.)
  • You didn’t manifest your illness; You got sick.
  • That’s not astral projection. Here on earth we call that a dream.
  • You’re a hypochondriac.
  • You have a really vivid imagination.
  • That’s not true. You’re lying.
  • Quit telling people that. They’ll think you’re crazy.
  • There’s no such thing as _______.
  • Synchronicity, what? It’s only a coincidence.

Seeing People for Who They Could Be

Despite your friend or loved one’s affliction, you don’t need to see them for how or who they are. No. Not when you know they could be so much better, saner, and evolved. You need not concern yourself with terms like illusory superiority or egocentrism because you’re not coming from a place of ego; You’re coming from a place of love and great wisdom.

Right?

End Satire.

I misspent my ‘Sensitive’ and also alcoholic early years in denial of reality.  Seeing people or situations for how I wished they were {but weren’t} was painful. And as a result, I kept opening myself to more and more hurt, pain, and suffering but blaming them for my myopic vision.

When I took my drunk goggles off for good, it was quite amazing the pain I continued to endure due to pretending that others weren’t ‘REALLY’ as they were.

Spurred into codependent recovery and finally finding freedom from the minutiae of bullshit I’d gotten uncomfortably used to, I further discovered that when I became great in my own skin, unhappy situations mysteriously resolved themselves and sometimes people magically did begin ‘changing.’

Although embracing mystery and magic is in my life force, it was less fun when I was shackled and bonded to the vacillating denial, confusion or hatred of myself, my surroundings, people, or situations. First I embraced my “earth recovery” [from alcoholism] and then I embraced self-acceptance [codependent recovery] and then I was more open to the mystery and magic of every aspect of living.

 

Freedom - Codependent No MoreReality - Loving What IsMystery - Jung and Synchronicity and the ParanormalMagic - Sermon on the Mount

2 Comments »

  • Garth said:

    I get alerted to Samsara’s posts by email, and I was laughing out loud before I was two paragraphs into the story.
    The Serenity Prayer talks about serenity and acceptance and the courage to change…but for most of my time in recovery I thought the last line “…and the wisdom to know the difference,” was just kind of a snarky postscript. A laugh line.
    Fairly recently it occurred to me that wisdom is just another word for “seeing things (and people) exactly as they are.” Not as I think they are, not as I want them to be, not even as I think they should be,…but exactly as they are. That’s not trivial. How I see people is almost always about my own filters and prejudices and past experiences…whether I like them or loath them, I’m often not seeing them as they really are.
    Today I can appreciate that “Seeing People For who They Could Be,” isn’t as selfless and loving as I might thought it was.

  • Samsara (author) said:

    I am glad you were laughing Garth. :D

    Certain situations scream for satire. And thanks for bringing up the denial aspect; That is most important to not engage in when we’re seeking a sane version in life. Thank you for your comment.

    Today I can appreciate that “Seeing People For who They Could Be,” isn’t as selfless and loving as I might thought it was.

    Indeed.

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